My Connections to Play

      These images are my connections to play. That “It’s a Beautiful Day” quote very much reminds me of how my mother would send us off to play outside. As a very young child I have few memories (I think I have a memory problem). I do recall believing I could fly if I just jumped high enough; and practicing that for hours on end at my home or my grandmother’s home. I recall playing outside unattended in the yard for long periods of time, though I am certain mom was peeking out the window occasionally. The home I most recall from my childhood was in a middle class rural neighborhood, right next to a patch of “woods.” The land had been deemed wetlands, and therefore could not be built upon. I moved into the home in third grade, immediately made friends with the girl on the other side of the woods, and we created paths between our houses through the woods.  Traveling in the woods almost daily inspired us to build a fort there. We scoured the wooded area and out homes for random bits and pieces, and with the help of other neighborhood children, we build a fort out of lumber and mattresses and no idea what else! We spent hours in those woods, very much left to our own devices. We could go to my house for a drink and food, or return home when called in for dinner. Though, most of those early years it seemed my friend almost lived at my house! Later, I recall my mom being nervous about granting my sister and I neighborhood bike riding limits; but eventually she gave in and allowed us to roam the adjacent neighborhood which still had no “main roads” with traffic. This opened us up to more friends. Then, of course we asked for further boundaries, and were eventually allowed to ride “into town” where I could visit the little shops to buy gifts and trinkets. I enjoyed the freedom of play, of being left to self-entertain, persevere, and problem solve.

(Side Note: You might be surprised to hear that I am a “millennial.” Many people do not realize that silly generation term covers a few years of the 80’s in which children were still playing plenty!)

      Fortunately, this is the way I am trying to raise my children. We also live next to a patch of wetland woods, where they play relatively freely. We live at the end of a “dead-end” street, so there is no traffic, and plenty of space to ride bikes. Soon, I think I will have to allow my oldest to venture off our street alone with her bike. For now, the neighborhood kids tend to come to us because as a home based child care there are plenty of kids to have fun with any afternoon! I am grateful to be able to provide these opportunities for my own children, my clients, and the children in my neighborhood. The social skills, cooperation, perseverance and many other skills being developed are obvious and amazing.

      Sadly, this is not the childhood of the majority of children today. Many children live in areas where free play outside is not an option. Many parents fear the dangers of leaving children to their own devices outside, or even the consequences of allowing messes inside. Honestly, I gawked the first time a five year old walked all the way across the neighborhood to play at our house. Then, I reminded myself we are in a safe neighborhood, with little traffic. As long as he is mostly with his big brother (they part ways at the top of our street to visit different friends), and they both know to walk/ride on the side, my studies have taught me that it is very important that he have the opportunity to engage in social, free play with other children.

       

       Inside is a whole other situation! As a child stuck inside, I played with creative toys such as Legos, building an elaborate town, or knitting outfits for my Barbie’s fashion show. My parents did not buy a computer until I was probably near twelve, and then it had maybe two games I would play occasionally. They did provide me with some perseverance as well because they were tough to beat! Alternatively, my husband (who is the same age,) played video games for hours beginning at age three. His grandmother thought it would give him the dexterity to become a surgeon! He does have amazing ability hand eye coordination, ambidextrous dexterity, and perseverance. No one taught him how to beat the game, he was also left to his own devices, determined to be successful.

      Today, children seem to choose inside over outside often; and fewer parents are sending children outside whether they want to or not. I know I certainly did not initially want to be sent outside all the time! Now, selecting from a variety of screen options, tablets, television, phones, video games, and computers; some choose ways to zone out, others to tackle a game and win. Either way it seems the big-picture consequences are concerning; with suicide by children and adolescents greatly increased, and the number of children on medications for mental illnesses also greatly increased. Again I am left grateful that I am providing the materials, space, and limits that I think are right for my children to allow them to develop as a whole child.

      

      I believe we learn through “play.” I believe in engaging in an activity for fun, because we want to, because we want to be successful or create something, because it provides us with a sense of peace, happiness, excitement, or pride. I believe play both relaxes and engages the mind, opening it to learning much more than when forced to focus on something uninspiring. I am certain that those adults who are inventing, designing, building wonderful new things everyday feel inspired and “at play” through their work. I would imagine each of those type of people grew up with similar play freedom as I did. For me, crafting, setting up play stations, toy towns and such is fun, and now as an adult I am blessed to be able to share that fun with children through my choice of occupation.  

The following quotes, which I love, provide more insight to my perspective on play.