My Supports

My Supports

Similar to my post about my important relationships, my husband, mother and friends provide many essential supports for me daily. My greatest support is certainly my husband. Financially, he earns the most to support our family with a home, vehicles and more. My job supports our need to have groceries, household goods, clothes and shoes as well as be available for our children. Overall, we are a team, we care for our family financially, and we do our best to meet all our children’s and each other’s needs together. Additionally, he is a jack of all trades and is able to fix or build anything we need, saving us worry and money. Most importantly, he is my emotional support; when I am feeling down or stressed he picks me up with his silliness, help and love. My mother, my in-laws and my friends are additional sources of support to care for my children, as well as emotional support. A friendly rapport, and good advice is often needed from friends to maintain sanity! I am certain that if we were in a time of need my friends  and extended family would help with my children, our meals, running around, and even financial needs. It is a blessing to know you have caring people in your life.

Our jobs provide financial comfort, providing us with the means to have all other necessary physical supports. Having a home and vehicles are essential layers of support for our family as well. We have chosen to live in an area where public transportation does not exist, so vehicles are essential for work and running errands. Around the house there is always a lot to do. Having a plan to involve all family members with keeping up the house allows me to keep my sanity. I believe sharing the household responsibilities is a necessary support within a family. There are probably a few dozen things that I could point out as being essential in my day to day life, things like my tea kettle and such, my refrigerator, beds, my computer and cell phones. Each time one of these is broken or missing I am reminded how much I rely on these tools for supporting life as I know it. The times I have been without a computer and needed to drive to the library for computer tasks I was grateful that it was only temporary. Similarly, the times I have been without a cell phone, and had to find a rare payphone or rely on the kindness of strangers, I was again grateful for those supports, and that it was only temporary.

I cannot really fathom a life without my supports. However, I do know that life goes on, you adjust to the loss, and you find new sources to support new needs. I know this because three year ago we received a life changing call to tell us my sister had lost her leg in a motorcycle accident. She spent nearly two years in military hospital recovery programs, with our mother by her side. Our mother left her career and threw financial stability out the window to care for her child. My parents ended up relying on a lot of charitable help to keep their home, while my father worked to make as much money as he could, and adjust to living alone for a while. They relied on friends, family and military supports in many ways. Meanwhile, my sister adjusted to life on one leg. First living in the hospital, then back with our parents; ramps were built, crutches, prosthetics, wheel chairs and many other devices and tools were purchased to make life accessible again. A very long journey, a many layers of support later, she is now successfully living on her own, in a home she bought for herself. In her own home she made everything as accessible as possible on her level while in her wheelchair. It is a work in progress. She had to retire from the Marine Corps, and started a new career, only to realize a desk job  really was not right for her. As she uses a service dog to support her both physically and emotionally, she decided to follow her passion and open a dog training kennel business. I am amazed daily at her drive to go on and follow her passion even though it is full of physical difficulties. Life goes on if you feel you have the emotional, physical, and financial support and mental strength to persevere.